#4
CLAIRE O'HANLON (claireadise.blogspot.com)
JUNE 1, 2011. PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA.
Rather than cleverly update Sandy's Facebook status with something juvenile while Sandy leaves his computer open on my kitchen table, I will instead contribute the first guest blog post in over a month. Like many bloggers, Sandy started the Drop and Roll with great enthusiasm, brainstorming topics as he sat on many a stranger's toilet, and staging interactions with "CouchSurfers" so that he might regale you with these anecdotes, dear reader. Alas, as Part 1 of Sandy's journey draws to a close (and I say that it is drawing to a close because as of tomorrow he takes a two-week vacation from this other vacation), his blog posts have become blurry pictures of twinkling lights and shameless self-promotion, though I suppose that's all blogs are anyway (that is, except mine... www.claireadise.blogspot.com). I am here to remind Sandy of the man he once was. One who updated his blog with witty and contemplative posts.
Sandy is set to fly back to Pasadena for his grandmother's 80th birthday and a family trip to Mexico and will be leaving his car in Pittsburgh. He is supposed to be figuring out where to leave his car for two weeks, but he seems unhurried. My street is parking permit only, as are most of the neighborhoods in Pittsburgh, so free long-term parking for non-residents is a problem to which I don't know an easy solution.
"I'm not worried," he says as he puts his capo back on the headstock of my black Ovation guitar. He has barely put it down since he arrived.
I really haven't spent much time with Sandy in the last three years other than a lunch here or a phone call there. Thank God for Mark Zuckerberg and the Website of Infinite Time Wasted, or I would chalk our shared existence up there with the kids who moved away in third grade to neighboring school districts but who I never saw again anyway.
It's stupid to feel this old at 24, but Sandy being here just reminds me how much has happened since we became friends in 2007. A mere four years ago, George Bush was still President, "tweeting" was an activity exclusive to birds, and no one knew who MGMT was. A simpler time indeed.
I guess it's been a return to Real FunTM while Sandy's been here. It's been a weekend of dancing to soul music, eating late-night waffles, staging underwater fights in the pool, playing guitar, and beer drinking. Sandy even sustained a Frisbee-related injury in Pittsburgh. He experimentally proved that flip flops + walkway in the middle of the grass + badly thrown Frisbee = Blood blood blood, which simplifies to Blood^3, which Euler or Leibniz I'm sure had something to do with somewhere along the line. Injuries described mathematically are truly the mark of a good time. And good conversations too, but knew that I was in for that when Sandy announced he was showing up for a week.
Let's hope that this vacation of Sandy's will renew his interest in blogging. And he'll be back in Pittsburgh in a few weeks, so we can go look at art museums then. May this summer day find you and your loved ones well.
#3
KELLY THOMPSON (www.ktom.us/)
APRIL 27, 2011. SEATTLE, WASHINGTON.
I met Kyle and Sandy through Couchsurfing. Not unlike a blind date, you never know what your going to get. I was pleasantly surprised to see two devastatingly handsome lads in fetching attire greet me at Pike Fish Market. Right away we hit it off with stories, juggling, and basking in the Seattle spring sun, which came out specifically for their company.
These two gents make quite an entertaining duo, much like Rocky and Bullwinkle, Sonic and Tails, or Mario and Yoshi. Not sure who's who but thats the fun part...
As a guest blogger I want to invite you viewers to engage! I have scribbled a little sketch below for a platform of collaboration! A comic commenting of sorts. Fill in the speech bubbles! Participate! Lets get creative.
What would Kyle and Sandy say??
#2
KYLE O'CONNOR
APRIL 14, 2011. OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON.
So this installment of the drop and roll blog will be written by me, Kyle O'Connor. Sandy has been nagging me for quite a while to write this, and has finally gotten to me. I say nagging, because during our two weeks of spending every waking hour together we are becoming more and more of a married couple. And not the honeymooning kind, more like the 10 year old used to each other kind. So, here is an example of a standard exchange between Sandy and myself:
We are driving. I get an incredibly cool idea that we should do immediately, like chain-drink six cups of coffee. I suggest cool idea to Sandy. Sandy bangs both fists against the dashboard and yells, "I don't wanna!"
I say, "Sandy will you quit being a baby?"
Sandy says, "Yeah, after you quit being a jerk!"
This is really how it happens, except we use much tougher words, because we are young men. Then sometimes we will do my cool idea, and sometimes we won't.
Sandy is in a band, or rather, he is a band. This is his purported reason for this trip. Because he is a band, Sandy can confidently look goofy and make funny faces in a big red jacket in front of me while I'm trying to photograph the relentlessly beautiful west coast. I am not a band, or even part of one. I cannot, however, let anyone suspect this of me, or Sandy would look cooler than me. So, whenever pictures are taken of me I make sure to look like I'm in a band, with leather jackets and sunglasses and a serious face. This is also why I'm always carrying around Sandy's guitar, even though I can't play anything. Sometimes the people Sandy and I stay with will ask me, "Can you play me a song?"
I will then pretend to think, idly strumming the thing, and say, "No."
However, I am not completely not in a band. Sometimes, after I have been drinking, Sandy will hit that guitar and make me make up lyrics on the spot. I always think what I think up is very cool, and Sandy will egg me on, so I'll go on making them up until the flow stops or Sandy's strings break. As soon as dawn strikes, though, I will listen to what I just sung, by which I mean said in a deep voice rhythmically, and immediately cringe.
We have been spending a lot of time in the Northwest. This is because not only is it relentlessly beautiful, as I mentioned earlier, but because absolutely everyone is so damn friendly. For example, one evening in Portland I was grocery shopping alone. I was buying a single serving frozen mac and cheese dinner and a 12-pack of Hamm's, the second cheapest beer in the store. I was checking out, and the cashier said, "How are you tonight?"
I said, "Sort of tired and hungry."
Now, I am not a lonely alcoholic, though on this particular evening I was shopping like one. But this kind cashier merely pointed to the 12-pack and said, "Don't worry, those will make you feel better!" This itself made me feel better, even though I said I felt tired and hungry, not tired and sober.
As is becoming more and more well known, Portland is an incredibly cool place. Not only is everyone friendly, but there is a positive cornucopia of cool weirdness out there. People dress like hipsters, punk rockers, civil war generals, and all sorts of other fun things. In addition, there are coffee shops and bars absolutely everywhere. I find it hard to believe that any work at all gets done there, but it is a very happening place. Really the only flaw I see in all of it is that there appears to be an overwhelming majority of males living there. This is bad because, having so many males means that there are going to be a lot of hornballs roaming around. Now, they are very friendly and considerate, and try to keep all this spontaneous lust in check. But, as I said, there are bars everywhere, so when they inevitably get intoxicated they all go wild, and start propositioning left and right. It goes like this:
Male approaches female and says, "We have been hanging out for two hours, and I think it is now a good time to ask you, would you like to have a sexual encounter with me?"
Female good-naturely replies, "I'm sorry, but I already have a previously arranged sexual encounter with my boyfriend this evening."
Male says, "Well shucks!" and hangs his head and lopes off to the next not obviously taken female.
So women, please move to Portland, the market is good.
This has been fun and all, but I am about out of things to say just this minute, so I will go. I have been writing funny things, because I feel silly right now, but funny writing is difficult, because comedy relies on timing, and I have no idea what speed you read. Goodbye.
#1
HAMBULANCE
APRIL, 10. PORTLAND, OREGON.
Band name: Hambulance
Lyrics and vocals: Kyle and Korin, Harmonica: Scott
Flute: Rachel, Guitar: Sandy, Percussion: all
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